On the way back from Monday evening training, I mulled over what I would be having for dinner. I’m making a concerted effort of late to eat well at the end of the day but do so healthily and avoid those pesky “late-night-carbs” where possible.

Fortunately, over the weekend, I had the foresight to know that I’d be feeling reasonably tired and apathetic to the notion of cooking a big meal after the gym. So I’d picked up a whole seabass at the shops. I don’t cook fish often enough, but I love it. And it featured often on the dinner table when we were growing up at home.

The plan was as follows: Freshly squeezed juice of a lime, some cumin, minced garlic, salt and pepper to act as a marinade. Dust with a little flour and shallow fry, flipping over once a side turns an even dark brown.
Typically served with some onion fried rice (which we used to nickname “fish-rice”) and there you have it; a piece of childhood nostalgia. No rice tonight – remember those late night carbs! – but otherwise the coastal Egyptian’s dinner of champions..

A Delicious Fresh Seabass

That was, until I unwrapped the bag to find my lovely dinner wasn’t gutted or scaled. Nightmare. I really didn’t feel like gutting or scaling a fish tonight. Admittedly, I’ve not done it before but I do know exactly what to do and the damn mess scales make.

SO, I did what all self-respecting, independent, highly eligible bachelors in their mid-twenties would do: I called my mummy and had a bit of a moan.

“It’s ok habibi.”

Came the words of reassurance.

“I have very easy solution for you.”

Here were the instructions, helpfully translated from Arabic.
Grill the fish on a hotplate, exactly as it is until each side is a deep brown, possibly even black.
Meanwhile, prepare a sheet of newspaper and sprinkle a very generous amount of salt, pepper and cumin.
Be liberal. Immediately after your fish is done, place on a side of the newspaper.
Sprinkle more of the seasoning on top and then wrap up your fish and leave to rest for a few minutes.
You’ll find the newspaper soaks through and the scaly skin will peel away effortlessly.
Being liberal with the seasoning makes sure it seeps through to the flesh.

Grilled Seabass, being seasoned!

I used baking parchment. Made sure to give the top and belly a once over too. Lo and behold, a seriously delicious, succulent, perfectly cooked seabass. No scaling required and the innards were simple enough to brush away after cooking. Zero prep, totally effortless and while my meal-to-be rested I took a shower.

This method also doesn’t produce the usual fumes of grilling, baking or shallow frying. Open a few windows, leave the extractor fan running and it’s like nothing ever happened.
Do make sure to put away any laundry airing in an adjacent living room though, just in case (haven’t we all made that mistake at least once?).

I like to top and tail my fish before plating. Serve with some cherry tomatoes and washed greens. An IPA from London’s Meantime brewery to wash it down. Ok.. so one or two late night carbs..

In all, a triumph. Successful dinner clinched from the jaws of an irritating and messy supper. Moral of the story? Don’t assume; always ask the fishmonger to gut and scale your fish. That said, I might just be cooking it this way for a while to come.

Seabass, plated